


Will You Stay?

by RedNGold



Category: The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Angst, Circus fam, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Multi, Other Side, Phillip does a 180, Phillip has issues, Phineas is Oblivious, They didn't mean to hurt, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 22:03:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14174316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedNGold/pseuds/RedNGold
Summary: Ever since he was a young boy, Phillip understood that in order to be useful, he had to please everyone, in anyway he could.Even though he hates it, he continues to do as his father taught him, to keep up with the Carlyle reputation.Then he joins the Circus, where he feels he finally belongs. But Phillip, being raised as he was, still thinks he needs people to be pleased with him. Especially P.T Barnum.





	Will You Stay?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The_Girl_Who_Got_Tired_of_Waiting](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Girl_Who_Got_Tired_of_Waiting/gifts).



> Hi guys! This is for a prompt I received, and I didn't mean it to be over 500 words, but oh well. Hope you like it!  
> Reviews are a good way to socialize :)

# Will You Stay?

 

Phillip Carlyle was always taught that pleasing people was the way to succeed in life. His father would constantly remind him that the family's reputation was the most important thing in their society, that it was indisputably crucial that everyone was pleased with them, no matter the cost. And that if Phillip ever did anything to tarnish their name, consequences would be dire.  
As such, raised with the pressure of upholding the Carlyle pedigree - and making mistakes along the way which his father made sure he never made again - Phillip learned how to make people content. As a child he would indulge his peers when they wanted to play silly games. As a teen he would talk and dance with the girls, as per his parents' wishes. Although Phillip would try his best to please everyone, he felt as though it was never enough, especially for his parents.

Later on, as he grows into a young adult, he discovers a way that satisfies everyone. Sex. He quickly notices after his first time, that sex would get him places. By the end of his time in the University, he must have slept with half the faculty and student body. Even the men. Just to make them happy with him.  
But, to Phillip, sex is not enjoyable. Hadn't been a single time. Sure, his body reacts and responds accordingly, but inside Phillip is disgusted with himself. He loathes people's touch, the way they stare at his body. The sounds they make as he gives them pleasure. It repulses him. But it is the only way he knows how to make sure he is useful, wanted.

Years later, he becomes a playwright, writes plays he himself does not particularly enjoy. When his first piece gets accepted in a theater, and the manager shakes his hand, Phillip notices the lingering look and darkening eyes of the much older man. And so, he sleeps with him, to keep him happy.  
When his actors and actresses sometimes become dissatisfied with their roles, he contents them with his body and talents.  
When he meets his first critic, who tells him he can make Phillip's play number one on Broadway, Phillip leads him back to his apartment.  
To Phillip, nothing comes without a price. The price usually being himself. It is never about his achievements as a student, or playwright. It is always about the other person's wants. So had Phillip learned.

 

Then he meets P.T. Barnum.

-

The moment P.T. Barnum introduces himself, drags him to a bar, and proposes this partnership (or more accurately apprenticeship), Phillip knows he'll have to make sure he stays useful. He doesn't think he'll have much problem with that judging by Barnum's insinuative dance.  
Barnum -or P.T. as he wants to be addressed- shows him around the Circus the following morning after their agreement. He meets all the acts, sees them rehearse, his breath taken away by the magic of it all. By the end of his first day, he genuinely thinks that this is where he is meant to be. But this happy thought comes to an abrupt halt as he reminds himself of who he is. Of what he has to do to ensure his stay. And he'll do it. He'll give himself as best as he can, just so he can finally experience the feeling of belonging somewhere.

-

Over the first few days, he makes sure to get to know each and every Circus inhabitant. Not only because he is actually interested in knowing them, but also to scout out those who he can please. He starts to subtly give signs of interest to everyone and anyone who will catch them. It isn't hard for Phillip to identify the signs of want and arousal. A few lingering looks there, some blown pupils here. He notices that the oddities are all pretty open minded, thankfully. The first to take him up is Julius. Then the Albino twins. Then Constantine. Phillip is relieved, in a way. He was afraid that nobody would really act on it.  
Word gets around the Circus family and, slowly at first, they come to him, and Phillip does his best to satisfy. And satisfy he does. So they come for more, and he gives more and more. Some like it fast and rough, others slow and tender. They love him, his skills, and maybe the fact that he is a rich, white, posh young man with a seemingly very willing attitude. But Phillip... he loathes himself for it.

-

Weeks later, on a chilly evening, Phillip finds himself, as usual, in P.T.'s office, going over financial work. He groans in frustration, at the ridiculous amount of paperwork, and at the stiffness of P.T.'s desk chair. P.T, who is sitting opposite of Phillip, looks up, eyebrows raised:

“What's the matter, Phillip? Are we going bankrupt?” he teases.

Phillip looks at him in exasperation.

“Not today, no. But honestly would it kill you to have better chairs? Or even an actual fiduciary?” asks Phillip. “The numbers are starting to blurr and I might accidentally give away our savings to a horse.”

P.T chuckles at his partner's usual dry humor. He then stands up, stretches his back, and goes around the desk, dropping his hand on Phillip's shoulder:

“Ah but my dear Phillip,” he says with a grin, “if I hired a fiduciary, what good would you be?”

He pats Phillip's shoulder a few times, and leaves the room saying something about finding Anne and W.D. Not that Phillip is really paying attention after Phineas' last sentence. _“What good would you be?”_ This is Phillip's worst fear!  
For weeks he has tried to make his interest known to the Ringmaster. But it is as if Phineas is oblivious. And at the same time, Phillip is sure Barnum is interested in him. In his body. Phillip has not been bothered too much by it, as he has the majority of the other oddities to busy himself with, but now more than ever he knows he has to show Barnum what he can do, how he can be more useful. Determined, Phillip stands and walks out of the office, in search of his next 'client'.

-

Phineas' POV

As soon as Phineas has closed the door behind him, he allows himself a smile, thinking of his partner. In the past couple of months since Phillip has joined their little family, Phineas has found that he enjoys these private moments with Phillip the most. Even just sitting down at his desk, doing migraines inducing paperwork. As long as Phillip is there with him. They will chat as well, over a cup of coffee or tea. At the end of each day they give each other a pat on a back for a job well done. Phineas can honestly tell himself, that if Phillip were to leave them, him, right now, he would be devastated. No, heartbroken. Phillip has become invaluable to their show, and unknowingly, to Phineas' life. He thinks of this often, and is gradually accepting that he may have deeper feelings for Phillip. Now, Phineas is an open minded person, mind you. He embraces everyone for who they are. That's what makes their family, here at the Circus, so strong. Acceptance. But it is another thing to realize that he is an oddity himself. He loves, yes loves, everything about Phillip. The way his whole face lights up when they rehearse, how he talks and seems so close to everyone in the family, how his eyes meet his during songs. He could go on and on, and there is still so much more that Phineas doesn't know yet and wants to know about Phillip.  
Phineas has decided that he will slowly try to show Phillip what he feels, hoping it will be reciprocated, but mostly won't scare him away. If he is being honest with himself, he is also hoping he won't scare himself too. He knows it is going to take a bit of time, but his heart is patient.

-

Phillip is determined, yes, but he doesn't take into account how long it would take him to find Phineas again. In the end, he only finds the Ringmaster minutes before the evening show, all dressed up in his tight suit, red flamboyant coat at the ready. Phillip has to admit, Phineas is a pleasing man to look at. To listen to. To talk to. To spend time with. Phillip quickly shakes those thoughts off, and goes to stand in front of Phineas.

“Hey P.T.” greets Phillip with a smile. “Are you ready to blow them away?” he gestures to the curtain, behind which the public can be heard chatting in anticipation.  
Phineas slides his top hat onto his head with a smirk:

“Always, my young friend, always.” he answers smoothly.

Phillip is momentarily mesmerized, until Lettie calls out for everyone to take their place. Phineas quickly spins around and goes to stand at the head of the Circus pack. Phillip gets out of their way, and with one last smile to their Ringmaster, walks out of the backstage area to stand at his usual place, behind the bleachers. As the Circus troupe dances and sings in the arena, he makes eye contact with Phineas, as always. But instead of smiling and nodding his head at him, Phillip makes sure that his eyes and face convey hunger. The effect is immediate, as Phineas stumbles a bit on his next step, his smile faltering a little, before catching himself and continuing as if nothing happened. He doesn't look at Phillip for the rest of the show.

-

The show ends, and while Phineas is thanking their public for coming and slowly ushering them out, Phillip climbs up the stairs to head into Phineas' office, where he knows he'll be joined by the man himself in a few minutes.  
True to his estimate, the door almost slams open, and Phineas steps in,  
looking disheveled from the show, but otherwise smiling broadly.

“Phillip!” exclaims Phineas. “What a marvelous show, don't you think? Thank you I'm glad you think so.”

Phillip chuckles, albeit a bit nervously, at his partner's antics. He goes to pat him on the back.

“To be honest,” says Phillip with a small smile, “I think I saw you stumble a little bit.”

Phineas' smile falters a little:

“Yes, well..” his smile grows again. “No matter! Let's have ourselves a drink, Phillip. I don't know about you, but I certainly cannot bear to fill out more paperwork entirely sober.”

Phillip nods, as it will soothe his nerves. _It's now or never._ he thinks, clearing his throat:

“Listen P.T.” he starts, as Phineas guides him to the seat in front of him and deposes their drinks, before sitting down himself. “I want to do more for you, than just this.”

Phineas raises his eyebrows questionably:

“What do mean, Phil? You do a lot of things here. You help feed the animals, secure the ropes, go back and forth in the city for supplies, and so on. You're going to run yourself dry if you do anymore.” he says, his tone implying his gratitude.

“No, that's not- I meant, I want to help you relax.” says Phillip, raising his eyebrows meaningfully.

“Isn't that what we are doing now?” replies Phineas, taking a sip from his drink.

_Completely oblivious._ thinks Phillip, incredulously. Shaking his head, Phillip stands up, walks to the door, and locks it, all while under the curious gaze of his partner, who speaks up at the sound of the lock:

“Phillip, why are you locking the door? Are you planning on murdering me? Because there is a long line of people for that.” he tries to joke, as Phillip makes his way towards him.

“You don't understand, P.T.” said Phillip as he stands in front of Phineas, who is still in his chair looking very confused, drink forgotten on the desk. “But I'll show you.”

And with that statement, Phillip bends down slowly, putting one hand on each side of Phineas' chair, caging him, noting the widening of his eyes, the darkening of his pupils, and kisses him.  
Phineas is unresponsive for the first five long seconds, so Phillip puts one hand on the nape of Phineas' neck, and to Phillip's relief, Phineas finally starts kissing him back. Confident now, Phillip sits down in Phineas' lap, fully melting into the kiss and moaning, as is expected of him. His other hand starts sliding down Phineas' lower abdomen, reaching the belt of his trousers, unhooking the loop-

Phineas pushes Phillip off him with a loud gasp, standing up quickly:

“What are you doing?” Phineas hisses, lips swollen, eyes still blown wide.

Phillip is confused. _What did I do wrong? Phineas wants this, why is he pushing me away?_ he thinks.

“Don't you want this?” asks Phillip with a frown.

Phineas clenches his jaw, trying to regain his composure:

“I don't- I mean- I...” Phineas stutters. _A first._ thinks Phillip.

“Here,” says Phillip advancing on him again, “I'll make you feel good.”

Phillip drops to his knees with graceful fluidity, his hand coming up to undo Phineas' belt.

Phineas jumps away with a yelp:

“PHILLIP!” he yells. “Stop this!”

Phillip flinches, not gone unnoticed by Phineas, and stands back up. For a full minute, there is a deafening silence except for Phineas' hard and fast breathing. Phillip looks unsure of himself, frowning, and looking up and down Phineas' flushed face with confusion. Then, his eyes widen in comprehension. _He must like a little bit of rough play. Should have expected it, really._ thinks Phillip.

Hit with an idea, Phillip clears his throat, and looks at Phineas dead on:

##### Right here, right now

##### 

Phineas raises his eyebrows in surprise

##### I put the offer out  
I don't want to chase you down

##### 

Phillip advances on Phineas, who tenses and backs away

##### I know you see it  
You run with me  
And I can cut you free  
Out of the drudgery and walls you keep in

##### 

For every step Phillip makes forward, Phineas takes one backwards

##### So trade that typical for something colorful  
And if it's crazy, live a little crazy

##### 

Phillip does his best imitation of Phineas' smirk

##### You can play it sensible, a king of conventional  
Or you can risk it all and see

##### 

Phineas almost trips over a book on the floor, and Phillip catches him by the arm, pulling him closer instead, caressing his chest

##### Don't you wanna get away from the same old part you gotta play

##### 

Phineas wrenches himself free

##### 'Cause I got what you need, so come with me and take the ride  
It'll take you to the other side  
'Cause you can do like you do  
Or you can do like me

##### 

Phillip sensually moves his body, his own hands roaming over himself, closing his eyes, his face portraying ecstasy  


##### Stay in the cage, or you'll finally take the key

##### 

Phillip steps forward again, corners the Circus King into a wall, electric blue eyes boring into hazel ones

##### Oh, damn! Suddenly you're free to fly

##### 

Phillip's face inches away from Phineas', leans in

##### It'll take you to the other side

##### 

Phillip kisses him with fiery passion.

Phineas gasps, unknowingly allowing Phillip more access. Phillip bites and nibbles on Phineas' lower lip, making Phineas moan. Encouraged, Phillip brings a hand to pull softly at Phineas' hair while the other comes up to cup Phineas' throat, which earns him another moan. Phillip then nudges Phineas' legs apart with his knee, putting a little pressure of Phineas' groin. The contact seems to stir Phineas from his trance, inhaling sharply, because the next second he roughly pushes Phillip away from him.  
Phillip falls to the floor, a surprised sound escaping him. He looks up at Phineas who seems torn between angry and aroused. Phillip is utterly confused, and doesn't know what to do.

“P.T.- _Phineas_ , what am I doing wrong?” asks Phillip, a hint of hysteria in his voice.

Phineas doesn't answer, still shocked, and breathing heavily, staring intently at Phillip.

“Please, Phineas! I don't- I can- What can I do to please you? I'll do anything you want!” croaks Phillip, as his throat closes, and tears well up in his eyes.

_He doesn't want me, he'll throw me out, I'm useless, I can't do anything right, he doesn't need me!_ thinks Phillip, panicking.  
Phineas frowns, his eyes narrowing:

“What do you mean, Phillip?” he asks, voice low.  
“Anything you want me to do, I'll do it! I don't care if it hurts, just please-” he chokes, looking down, “Please don't throw me out.” he finishes softly, barely audible.

But to Phineas, it was as loud as a gunshot.

“Phillip-” he starts hesitantly. “Do you- Are you trying to- sleep with me so I won't throw you out of the Circus?” he asks with no small amount of shock in his voice.

The tears finally start falling from Phillip's eyes, as he looks up at Phineas:

“Why else would you want me here?” he whispers. “That's all I can do. Everyone's got an act.” he says, smiling pitifully at himself.

He doesn't know why he's telling Phineas this, but he can't seem to stop anymore:

“That's all I'm good at. All the others like it, that's why they keep me around. I don't-” he sobs, “I don't even like it.” he chokes out, wiping away at his tears.

Phineas is horrified. He kneels down next to Phillip, who flinches again with a whimper, much to his increasing worry:

“Phillip, I would never expect you to- to give yourself like this. And nobody should. It is wrong of all of them to take advantage of you-” he starts, only to be interrupted by Phillip:

“But if you don't want me, I'm useless to you, and you'll make me leave..” he rambles, leaning away from Phineas.

But Phineas is having none of it, and grabs the sides of Phillip's head tenderly:

“Phil, listen to me, look at me.” he orders, and Phillip looks up slowly. “You are not useless, do you hear me? And I will never, ever make you leave.” - _me_ , was left unspoken. “You are an amazing being, the most incredible man I've ever had the pleasure to meet, and I am honored to call you not only my partner, but my friend as well. You, Phillip Carlyle, are full of wonders and light, and not some object to be- passed around.” he finished, a touch of anger seeping through during the last part.

Phineas speaks with such sincerity that Phillip almost wants to believe him. Almost. He wants to say that it's not true, that he's nothing but a common whore. Instead, he just breaks into sobs, and Phineas embraces him, holds him tightly. They stay like that until Phillip calms down, and eventually falls asleep in Phineas' arms. Phineas sighs, picks up Phillip bridal style, and lays him on the couch in the corner of the office. He goes to pick up a blanket, and covers Phillip's trembling body with it.  
Phineas sits back in his chair, picks up his drink, and nurses it all the while watching his partner sleep, deep in thought. _“All the others like it”_ had said Phillip. That particular sentence does not sit well with Phineas. _Who was Phillip talking about? Surely not- they wouldn't, would they?_ He thinks. He downs the remnant of his drink, stands up, grabs his cane, and decides to find out for himself.  
He exits his office, looks down at the main arena, where coincidentally most of the troupe is now drinking and talking joyfully. As he walks down the stairs, he tells himself to calm down, that he's probably wrong about this. That none of his Circus family took advantage of Phillip.  
The oddities all saw Phineas step out of his office, where they know Phillip is, as he is always there after a show. Thinking that Phillip used his skills on Phineas, as they assumed their Ringmaster is no exception, they all smile at him conspiratorially.

“Did you enjoy it, Mr. Barnum?” asks Lettie, knowing full well what Phillip does with the majority of the Circus inhabitants, despite not participating herself.

“Oh did he do that thing with his tongue?” asks Constantine.

“You mean the twist?” shoots Anne.

“Nobody does it better than Phillip, that's for sure!” interjects W.D.

“Amen to that!” cheers Julius, as they all whistle and cat call.

Upon seeing that Phineas is not cheering, nor smiling, but is downright looking murderous, they all fall silent.

“Is- uh- is everything alright?” asks hesitantly one of the Siamese twins.

Phineas is gripping his cane in a vice like hold, his hand turning white.

“Are you all telling me,” he starts in a deadly calm voice that sends chills down everyone's back, “That all of you have been letting _my_ -” he stops himself. “Have been letting _Phillip_ pleasure you in your spare time?” he asks with dripping coldness, his eyes hard and unforgiving.

The oddities all look at each other nervously. Phineas doesn't wait for their answer. He looks at each and everyone of them:

“If I find out, that any of you hurt him in anyway, and ,from now on, continue to use him, I will make sure no one can find your bodies.” he states calmly.

The Circus acts all swallow with difficulty, absorbing their Ringmaster's terrifying threat, before nodding quickly.  
Phineas turns to depart, climbs of the stairs, watched fearfully by his Circus family. He stops in front of his office door, turns to look at them from the alcove, and ads:

“After all, _accidents_ happen all the time in a Circus.”

He doesn't wait to watch their reaction, only enters his office, to make sure Phillip is well. He has a long way to recovery, but Phineas will be with him every step of the way.


End file.
